It’s not that I couldn’t have called the places on Google that appears when you query “How can I commit suicide?”. I could have called those sites or phone numbers that offered to help. Those things are great. My path was just different. I’m a person who looks within to find my strength and not without, and that’s not good, bad, wrong. That’s just for me.
I think you could say suicide is never a logical conversation. But someone just told me that the guy that founded No Fear committed suicide because he was in so much pain from all of his back injuries and things like that. I believe Robin Williams made the decision (to commit suicide) because he had a brain disease and they said, “you’re going to get progressively worse”. So, maybe those people are the very, very few who are making a logical decision, and it’s certainly one that a lot of people wouldn’t agree with. But when you’re in the height of some emotional situation like I was, there are so many things that seem like they are literally the end of the world. Then you find out later it just wasn’t anything.
I had several people that I knew from high school that committed suicide. I think it’s just the unknown that scares a lot of people. My wife had stage four thyroid cancer and was told she had 90 days to live. She chose to fight that. She could’ve given up. She could’ve committed suicide. She could’ve said “I’m just gonna go do fun things until I can’t do fun things anymore”. But she chose the harder path of fighting that. She’s 12 years past that.